


Best of Both Worlds

by zedille



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Female Tony Stark, Gen, Genderswap, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 02:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zedille/pseuds/zedille
Summary: In a world where Nick Fury really does run a super-secret boy band, Toni Stark's press conference goes a little differently.





	Best of Both Worlds

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [single hobbits (put a crown on it)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13061067) by [zedille](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zedille/pseuds/zedille). 



> I have one joke and I'm going to work it.

“And now, Ms. Stark has prepared a statement about what happened at Stark Industries’ downtown office last night. She will not be taking any questions, thank you.” 

At Rhodey’s gesture, Toni crosses the stage to stand behind the podium. This isn’t actually the first time she’s had to hold a press conference about her nocturnal activities, but it is the first time Rhodey’s been involved.

“It's been a while since I was in front of you,” Toni begins. “I figure I'll stick to the cards this time." (Polite laughter.) “There's been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred yesterday — ”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was your body double who oh-so-conveniently appeared at a public demonstration in support of your recent decision to suspend all military contracts?” 

And that, of course, is one Christine Everhart from _Rolling Stone_ , Toni’s current favorite member of the press.

“I know it's confusing,” Toni says, very blandly. “It’s one thing to question the official story, and another entirely to make wild accusations or insinuate that I'm a — a superstar.”

“Oh, I never said you're a superstar,” says Christine. She’s smirking.

“You didn’t?”

Christine smugly shakes her head.

“Well, good, because that would be outlandish and ... fantastic, actually. I’m just not the superstar type, clearly, what with my… long list of character defects and all the mistakes I've made, mostly in public. Though actually that would be exactly what an actual superstar would have — ” Toni trails off.

One successful — _wildly_ successful, if Toni says so herself — impromptu concert hardly does a superstar make. Even if that impromptu concert had pumped up the demonstrators so much that they’d spontaneously decided to demolish the Stark manufacturing plant as a symbol of the military-industrial complex. She’s already got the long history in the public eye and a shaky track record of past relationships. She would make a _great_ superstar.

Christine looks politely confused at Toni’s continued silence.

Rhodey leans over. “Just stick to the cards,” he hisses in her ear.

“Yeah, okay,” Toni mutters. She stares at the notecard in her hand.

There’s still some glitter on Toni’s wrist. Pepper must have missed it when they were doing her makeup this morning. That’s the problem with glitter: it gets everywhere. Maybe next time, Toni can whip up a hologram for a disguise instead of the oversized glittery wig she’d used last night. She can probably put the holographic emitters in her earrings or something —

Not that there’s going to be a _next time._ The representative from SHIELD Records had made that very clear. They’ve set things up so all this will disappear under the carpet, bar a few stray glitter flakes, and Toni can return to the mundanity of corporate life. All Toni has to do is say the words.

Toni makes eye contact with Christine Everhart in the front row. “The truth is…”

She can’t do it. 

“… I am Taylor Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> The earring hologram emitters are a reference to [Jem and the Holograms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jem_\(TV_series\)).  
> [Title](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Best_of_Both_Worlds_\(song\)), of course, from Hannah Montana.
> 
> Apologies to the actual TSwift.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy [my other crackfic here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13061067/chapters/29875299).


End file.
